Being a Flower

4:00 am is a special time for me. For the past few months, I have been waking up in the 4:00 hour, refreshed and ready to start my day. I have heard that the early morning hours are the best time for spirit communication. God has been calling me consistently in the 4:00 hour. Sometimes it is 4:13, sometimes 4:08 or 4:18, this morning it was 4:48. It is consistently one of those exact times. The accuracy of the wake up call leads me to believe in the significance of it. Instead of going back to sleep, I have learned to use this time to quietly welcome my day.

This morning I grabbed my journal and went out on the back patio to enjoy my tea. It was barely light enough to see what I was writing in my journal. The morning was warm, quiet and peaceful. As the sun came up, I began to admire the wonderful colors of the flowers in my garden. This morning they seemed more vibrant and alive. The plants were so vivid, like they were somehow more than 3-dimensional.

I had been writing about my transition from stressful living to peaceful living. It occurred to me that now I am living more like a flower. Flowers don't stress themselves out with questions like "Where should I grow? What if no one waters me? What if my color isn't bright enough, or I'm not the right shade? What if I'm not beautiful enough? What if the other flowers bloom before I do? How will I live up to their example?" They just grow because that is what they are supposed to do. They are all beautiful. Some are larger than others and some are brighter, but they don't seem to mind. They know they are all beautiful and necessary. When they are mixed together, it creates an amazing bouquet.

I realized that they don't try to be better than the other flowers. They don't compete with each other, they aren't jealous of each other, they don't talk about each other behind their backs and they don't gossip. They don't look at another flower and say "Wow, look at that one, I wish I was more like her." They just accept themselves just the way they are and do what they are supposed to do. Maybe that is why they all bloom effortlessly and are so beautiful.

I've decided to follow that example with my circle of women friends. Remembering to be in the natural flow of life. I suppose a person who lives that way would be called a flow-er, someone who goes with the flow. Funny that flower is spelled the same way but I'd never made the connection before now. Imagine what a beautiful bouquet we will make if we all learn to live like flowers.

Healing My Life Without Getting Out of Bed

I have always been the sort of woman that runs herself ragged trying to get things done, always busy, always doing, pushing, making, trying. My to-do lists are longer than most novels, and if I get something scratched off the list, I just add more. It occurred to me that I was getting my sense of value from the length of my to-do list. While it's great that I am so motivated, it sucks that I am too tired to enjoy my accomplishments.

I was not where I wanted to be in life and with all of the work I had been doing, I should have seen better results. Maybe I was just trying too hard. What I was doing was not working, so I stopped. I needed a restful place to heal my weary body and life. I purchased a really great bed that I absolutely love! I added a super comfy mattress that promotes healthy, restful sleep. (Both of these items can be found at Haiku Designs.) My personal favorite is the Raku bed and the natural latex mattress. I added a silk comforter and a Yokohama floor lamp (also from haiku designs.) I found a vibrant duvet cover at Crate and Barrel.

I created my perfect retreat and added tools that are helping me transform my life. The first thing, an absolute necessity as far as I'm concerned, is You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. Since my attention span is a tad on the deficient side, I also needed some meditation tools to help me stay focused during meditation. I grew tired of spending hours meditating, only to discover the only thing I managed to do was think of 27 more ways to rearrange the living room. The CD's that work best for me are by Kelly Howell. The writer/artist in me needed some creative space so I added my collection of books by SARK, a journal and some brightly colored pens and pencils. Who better to heal with than the queen of fun, joy, and of course, naps!

I love spending time in my retreat. If I notice myself getting tired or irritable, I immediately go lie down and do a meditation. Within 40 minutes, I am refreshed, inspired and feel great. I love that I am discovering how to relax on purpose. I am nourishing my body, mind and spirit.

I found out that I was avoiding rest because I thought I was being lazy, or if I got too much sleep it was because I was depressed. If I slept in, it was because I was in denial and using sleep as a way to avoid my life. My perspective shifted. I now view resting as a way to rejuvenate my spirit, nurture myself and heal. My time spent in solitude and quiet is very productive. I gain fresh perspective and am able to take clear, inspired action instead of running around like a crazy woman without a map. I am finally able to get out of bed for things that are worth getting out of bed for.