The simplest of realizations crossed my mind recently. It came in the form of of a question that led to the realization. "Why do you spend so much time and energy getting to where you don't want to be?" In addition to that, why was I also exerting so much effort to stay there? Maybe I thought that I had to. When I realized that I needed to stop the exhausting efforts to get to and stay in a place that I didn't really want be in the first place, something shifted. It was so simple, I'm a little embarrassed that it took me so long to figure it out. Why did I put so much effort into being stressed and unhappy?
I know what I love to do and what brings me joy, so why am I only allowing myself that feeling 1 or 2 days a week? The other days I drain my soul doing something that I know is not right for me. Time to change the road I'm on.
In order to do this, I must put aside the analytical process and just go with my gut. It seems completely insane to even consider leaving the safety of my day job while I'm living paycheck to paycheck and have a whopping $30.14 in my savings and no retirement. But that is exactly why I have to, plus it makes for a way better story. It would have less inspirational impact if I decided to do this once I had a year's worth of salary saved up and my mortgage paid off. Too safe. Where's the adventure in that?
Today I make a commitment to myself and what I love to do. I will put full faith in the Universe to guide me to where I really want to be. I'm not sure exactly where that is, but I guarantee it is not barely scraping by and being exhausted and spiritually drained from a job that is not right for me. I will use feeling as my map, If it brings me happiness then I will do it. If it doesn't feel right, I will not say "yes" when inside I am screaming "NO!" I will not do things just to please other people into liking me. I will please me in order to like myself. I commit to a life that brings me joy and happiness.
I created this mosaic as the beginning of a new journey. Since it's creation a few months ago, my life has started to change direction. My day job has ended and I am moving toward the direction of my dreams. I have witnessed how making a commitment to myself and the life I want to create has shifted events in my life in my favor. I have always wanted to work from home doing something I love to do. The Universe has given me that chance. It doesn't matter that I am 45. It wouldn't matter if I was 85. I have been given a gift. The gift of knowing that my life is of my own making and that there is always time to change the road you're on.
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